I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
