Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
