I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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