Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
