I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yo dont text me then not text me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love you.
Bad choice
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