How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
