Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
