I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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