No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
