i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
