I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
