just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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