I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
