Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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