Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
