Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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