if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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