You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
