nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
