TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
