there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize