Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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