what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
