You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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