Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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