he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
