WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
