Your face is a jimmy john
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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