is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
