4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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