dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel great
I just peed on a car
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
