I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
