Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
