I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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