Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
