Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
