shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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