Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
