no, he came in my armpit
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
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My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
