I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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