Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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