on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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