Farmville is her only friend.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
