There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
