Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
