Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
