Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize