all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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