There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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