is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize