Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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