Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
