the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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