I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize