I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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