he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
