Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
