I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
