What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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