Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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